I spent this month in Saint George, Utah spending valuable time connecting with my sister Jennifer and her family. I saw hummingbirds, bunnies, lizards, bats, and butterflies. It was amazing to break up the routine and step back from my Salt Lake City tribe to find my own intentions of what type of life I am trying to create and what my values are. I am so filled with gratitude for my many blessings this month and look forward to strengthening my existing connections and building new ones from a clearer headspace.
Reading
I finished the book "Women Who Run With the Wolves" and found a lot of useful information as well as beautiful fairytales in it. I left my copy with my sister and recommend it to everyone. One thing that I loved is that it talked about women needing an escape from society to reconnect with her wild nature, it said that if we do not make time for ourselves consciously we do so unconsciously by sabotaging relationships and spacing out at work. Sometimes I feel guilty for taking care of myself because we live in a culture that tends to over values productivity and being busy for the sake of being busy at the cost of mental health. There is definitely a shift in the air and things have moved to make more space for human compassion in my lifetime, which gives me a lot of hope.
A month here was much more pleasant and cheaper than a month in a mental hospital.
Massage and Yoga
I started a daily yoga routine. I bought some cute figures at Harmons of white rabbits in various yoga poses and my schizophrenic mind started dreaming of an Alice in Wonderland yoga studio and looking up yoga teacher certification classes in places that I might like to live, then I came back down to earth and bought a yoga magazine and found a yoga mat and started a personal practice. I bought an hour glass along with the rabbits that I turned over every morning when I began my practice. I'm not sure how long it went for but looking back over the songs that played on my playlist it seems like it lasts between 15 and 20 minutes.
I started with writing a short list of my intentions for the practice and goals for the day, these ranged from "stop having imaginary conversations with people I haven't seen in years" to "take a picture of a hummingbird" to "drink more water." Then I alternated between two routines: https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/home-practice-awaken-sexual-vitality and https://www.yogajournal.com/practice/creative-sequence-help-navigate-tough-emotions.
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| Bedhead |
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| On exceptionally free/lazy mornings (No Orange Theory, No plans with Jen) I did a tarot spread and crystal grid before practice then concluded with a swim in the pool and some Alice in Wonderland ASMR with birdwatching. |
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| Hummingbird feeder by the pool |
I was also able to give some massages and crystal balancing sessions. 🙏
Community
There was a neighborhood performance of A Midsummers Nights Dream at the park that was a treat to watch. Jen's neighbor organized it and her husband Jeff helped set up a non-profit to perform annually. It brought back memories of being in the 6th grade production as Helena. Some of my favorite quotes are "love and reason keep little company together nowadays" and "though she be but little she is fierce." They sold some of the best hot chocolate I've had in my life. I think in the future it would be cute to have a Voices in Wonderland booth there with coloring book pages related to the play and watercolor kits (or another art project.)
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| Voices in Wonderland's July 2018 zine cover. Artist: Emily Hall |
Writing
I finished my first round of edits on a book I've been working on that teaches the heart meridian (a Shiatsu principle) through a story of a sheep searching for his shepherd.
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| Typing up my edits and Listening to Charlie Kessner live at 25 Main |
I also made a point to write a haiku every night before bed, here are some of my favorites with pictures I captured this month:
Birdfeeder
Late grandmother winks
Hummingbirds gather nectar
From beyond the veil.
Seedlings
Better connection
Pass up all options but joy
Creative control
Manifesting Magic
If Merlin offered
His magic and services
Would you trust your wish?
But First, Hubris
A rabbit hole fall
A talk with Humpty Dumpty
An Easter success
In a Time of Universal Deceit
The sword that's waiting
For characters forged in stone
Consciously broken
My proposal for the Public Philosophy Network Conference was accepted so I began some brainstorming and research regarding that paper and presentation in October in Michigan. One paper I found that I think pretty much sums up the direction that I plan to take here is called "Considering Post-Traumatic Growth in Psychosis." I plan to address this issue at multiple levels, from psychology (books: the body keeps the score, and rethinking madness) to sociology/philosophy (books: Foucault: On Madness and Civilization, and Hearing Voices a Common Human Experience) then look at some models/theories of treatment (revisit the work I did at the Disability Law Center regarding Prisons, especially solitary confinement, and the effect it has on psychosis, research I have found that says prognosis is generally worse with medications--not saying that it is always worse or that it should never be used, just saying it is not a miracle cure, advocate for the continued use of art and music therapy and more consideration for energy healing and massage in the mental health field.)
Future Plans
Sending unconditional love and gratitude to all reading and all who have played a role in my journey this month. My plans for May include setting sail to Idaho and Oregon where I will be staying with loved ones. I hope to continue writing and do more massages. However I think I will trade in the camera bag for some paper and charcoal.
